Shop talk!

"I hope they rot in prison."  Can that really happen? A person goes to prison for a crime, they get free room and board, three hot meals a day, a place to sleep, a roof over their heads, access to libraries, schooling, a job, exercise, they have it made. They do not have to work for any of that. I think I need this explained to me. After moving to a big city, from a rinky dink whole in the earth town, I have had my eyes opened. There are so many homeless people here, they are at every street corner asking for whatever you can spare. They sleep in doors ways, alley ways, under cars and bridges, not to mention where they use the bathroom, they offer their bodies for money, people of all ages, sex and race. It's insane! There are also homeless shelters and churches all around, doing the best they can to meet the daily needs of as many of these people as they can. I understand that there are programs for people and they need to make a choice, I get that not all of these people are criminals, druggies, prostitutes.. Some of them are kids, younger than my sweet Boog, out there selling their bodies, doing unmentionable things for food, a place to stay, attention. This could go all political, sure, let's talk about choices, let's talk about money, insurance, excuses, we could talk about it all, but in my humble opinion, it comes down to people. Relationships. Love. Respect. Honor. We know that some of these people on the street are Vets, and we hear how we need to show respect to them for fighting for our freedom, we have a day set aside every year to honor them, but are we taking care of them? Are we really showing them real love or just the handing out of a few bucks here and there when we feel bad? Are we in a "do as I say, not as I do" world? Are we going to follow the crowd, or step out and be the unique individual we were created to be?

So, the people that are sitting in these prisons and jails, why do they get the privileges that they do? Why are the homeless they ones that are actually rotting away? 

There are numerous, large empty buildings in the city, why can't we open them up to homeless people, give them responsibilities, build a community where they are safe, healthy and taken care of? We do that for our prisoners, why can't we do it for our homeless?  

I ranted, showing my humanness, I love people. I hate seeing people hurting, I hate not being able to fix it. I will find an in, I will work hard. I will love generously. I will be the change I want to see. Or maybe I will go back to watching Dexter and eating donuts.

Wa(r)shington

Once upon a time, love took hold and filled the cracks of a suffering damaged soul. Life was restored. When something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. 

The Secret is out!

25 Random things... Random? 

made, done, happening, or chosen without method or conscious decision

or

odd, unusual, or unexpected..

You choose? you are going to anyway!!

1. My toothbrush is a Spongebob Squarepants Colgate Spinbrush..

2. I am an indecisive control-freak! Yeah, when you get that one figured out. ??

3. I LOVE music. It feeds my soul. I love how it is created, it is like a recipe, its amazing to me how it sounds when all elements are put together, I love how it makes me feel, the melody, the lyrics, all of it. I love its feeling of familiarity, like it was created just for me. I love how it connects me to memories, thoughts, you know! it is my go to drug..

4. I can tolerate 99% of the worlds weird quirky things, but for some reason, I can't for the life of me wrap my mind around why guys where their pants just in-between their ass and their knees. They can't walk, it's obvious by their "strut". I am sure deep down in their soul, they wish they were cool enough to pull their pants up. It's time gentlemen....

5. I love learning new things.

6. I never do anything with the new things I learn.

7. I LOVE to cook, but don't like eating.

8. I read everything, including but not limited to, shampoo bottles, instructions, etc.

9. Speaking of instructions, I love trying to read and pronounce things in other languages, it's super funny.

10. I feel trapped inside my head and fear people will not like me. Will the real 'Melody' please stand up?

11. Something amazing happens when I put a mitt on my hand. It's like I just transported to a new world. I don't have to think about what I am doing, it just comes naturally. Like the mitt is a remote controlling my mind and body. Its effin' cool

12. I am a true girly girl.

13. I love this number, cause its just a number. NBD!

14. If I could spend one day inside someone else's mind, I'd choose James.. :)

15. I want to write books.

16. I fear I might never accomplish anything.

17. I LOVE! I fall hard. I love love. If I choose to love you, be prepares, no matter the type of love, I will give it everything I have.

18. I have a shopping addiction. Second hand stores are my vice.

19. My daughter scares me, fills me with joy, gives me peace, excites me, makes me cry, encourages me, makes me laugh..  she's my friend. 

20. I want to know that God is real.

21. I want to sing, really well.

22. I wish my mind could take pictures and then I could talk to a printer and it would print out the imagine just how I saw it.

23. I think way too much.

24. I can't pick favorites. There are so many cool things in the world, I can't pick just one.

25. I LOVE shoes!

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized either way." Eleanor Roosevelt

It's been a while.. 

I am on a journey, where I am free to be me, where I am free to make mistakes, to screw up royally, to be really good something, to be told I am good and believe it, where I am free to say things, to be really bad at something, to rant and rave, and sing and dance, to stop and start over, and start over and stop, to laugh and love and kiss and hug. It is not and easy journey, I am going to get hurt and do the hurting, but I am going to love, to love like I have never loved in all of my time on this planet, and I am going to be loved, I am going to forgive and ask for forgiveness, and I am going to grow... because I am on a journey... on a journey in a beautiful world, waiting for me to discover me..

Outside the Window: What's the weather? Right now? If that's not inspiring, what's the weather like somewhere you wish you could be?

Why do we write about the weather? Why is the weather the go to topic of conversation when we find ourselves in an awkward situation? Is it because the weather is always changing, so it  gives us something new and real and interchangeable?
Let's give this a shot. What is the weather? The weather is the outside atmosphere to ____ *&^%! Why is this so hard to focus on? Why is writing hard? I want to write.  I want to get the crazy clever thoughts that are stuck inside my head out and onto paper. Out in the world of cyberworlds and interwebs for all the peeps to see and feel and hate and love. I can't focus, its like a gajillion thoughts are fighting to come out of my fingertips all at the same time, so I give up, I am good at giving up, its on my list of top ten greatest things I am good at. Getting distracted, that's there too, right along with walking while chewing gum and oh never-mind, there I go again.

Weather: Is there a deeper more spiritual side to the weather.. or is it just something to distract us and give us something to complain about? We live in a world of whiners and complainers.. You know what I mean, you know you do.. Are you one of them? I have been told there was a time in my life where all I did was the three C's, cook, clean and complain.. Ick, to have to be stuck in that place ever again. Are any of us ever happy? We desire it, crave it even, but do we ever do anything to make it better or just complain in hopes that someone will get sick of our bitching and do it for us? Seems that way. Can we change? Do people ever really change? Like weather, hey, weather, that is what I am suppose to be talking about right? 

Do you love the random thoughts that pop into your head? I love them, I love where they lead me, onto this trail of thoughts that connect one after another after another, until I am back at the beginning spinning, wondering how that got started. Ever done it while you are driving? Crazy right? Miles go by before you notice that you went on this tiny little mind vacation and wonder how you are not in a head on with a telephone pole or worse, a cow.

I want to spend my time doing the things I love. Wild thought, what do I love? I don't know, but I am excited to find out... I am ready to bust out of this box and run, to be free and see where life takes me. Maybe tomorrow I will actually talk about the weather. 

To control, or not to control.. is that even a question?

I think that humans are control freaks. Present company excepted.. We want to do the best, be the best, wipe whatever is in our way, out, to get what we want. Use whatever tool we can to make sure that we finish first, that we finish on top.
It is pretty sick really.
When did we stop caring about how the way we behave hurts people?

I hurt people. I was hurt by people. The question I think, is what is next?
Where do I go from here?
What am I in control of?

Its a tough question. There are things I actually am in control of, there are things I wish I were in control of, there are things I need to be in control of, but are not, and there are things that I desperately wish I had no control over.

But it still doesn't answer the inevitable question, What am I in control of?

I can choose. But I am afraid. Period.

Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. They open our eyes to the wonder of the world and inspire us to open our hearts to loved ones and friends. Like a hummingbird, we ... embrace all that life has to offer and to celebrate the joy of everyday. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life’s sweetest creation. 

This beautiful creation demonstrates perfectly, "Joie de vivre." 

To sit and watch a hummingbird work, they seem to be taking in the world around them in a sweet manner. They seem to really stop and smell the flowers. We could learn from them. 

Float freely, love deeply, find joy everywhere, celebrate life everyday, keep our hearts open and available. The grace that a hummingbird exudes... perfection..

I see why God created such a being, we can truly learn from them.

In order to move ahead, I must go back a bit... There are so many variables to this story, that I have been having a hard time figuring out where to begin. It would be easy to say, start at the beginning: but, the beginning, is now. At least the new beginning is.

What is it like to fall in love? What is it like to know for absolute certainty that the people you surround yourself with are real, honest, trustworthy, genuine and gracious? What is it like to kiss someone for the first time and relive every detail as if it just happened yesterday? To feel the tenderness of their lips, the gentleness of their touch, the sweetness in their voice? And..

What about the exact opposite? What is it like to fall out of love? What is it like to know for absolute certainty that the people you invested your entire existence in have lied, were manipulative, used your faith against you, let go of you when you didn't abide by their rules, were the total opposite of gracious? What if you couldn't remember what it was like to give yourself over completely to the one person on this earth that you were suppose to?

How do you tell a story that is so incredible, to unbelievable, so surreal? Well, I will do my best. This is a story that will never end, this I am sure..  A story that will carry on for decades.

It started with silence, a silence so loud that everybody could hear.